Behind Closed Doors, I Could Be Whoever I Wanna Be

Trying to be brave and strong when you're feeling anything but is more difficult than anybody knows until they try it.

It is telling yourself not to cry over and over while you sob uncontrollably. It is walking fast and keeping constantly on the move so you don't think, but the breakdown you are running from is always right behind you, so close no matter how fast you run. It is hugging yourself tightly in the shower as you pretend that the water running down your face is not salty.

It is being so tired of fighting that you escape into oblivion. It is wanting and not having. It is the headache you get from crying too hard. It is smiling with the smile of a portrait and hoping nobody sees you shattering into pieces.


It is what you do because you have to.