Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You''ll be pathetic if you stay on

Monday, September 28, 2009

is water tasteless?

I’m scared you know.

but there’s just something so strong.and i feel so sure.

and i feel so stupid,feeling so sure.

mother said i use the word "and" too much

Thursday, September 24, 2009

To go with the flow, to go against the flow?

soo confused. i dont know what to do. i've got no clue. whatsoever. But well, at least im not the fool. Im no one's fool.

'Once a match is struck, it flares up. You blow it out as quick as you can, but the dark soot remains there, smearing your fingertips a nasty black, a reminder of all that you have done'
so.fuck off loser.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I pity the fool ( who has absolutely no clue)
.
.
.
.
thankyou for making that phone call. it woke me up from my darkest dream.
games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out
i'm no one's fool<3

Sunday, September 20, 2009

selamat hari raya and maaf zahir batin to all!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

sometimes life just get you down.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

its time to bite my bottom lip and put on that mask. its time to push things under the carpet and hopefully the lumps wont be obvious.


i am off your case.


could things turn out the way i hoped it would just once? could i not hope for anything just once? could i be blissfully ignorant just once?

as time goes by, i am slowly learning to dread something instead of look forward to it.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Life is complicated, and it still is

sometimes, i don't know how to explain these things to people, but those who knows my stories well will know what I'm talking about eventually
So here people, i want to bid my goodbye to miss Carmen Lim before she leaves for India tomorrow!
I LOVE YOU, SHORT STUFF:)!

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Fire To Keep Me Warm

Is it wrong for me to so upset about so many things? because all my life, i've always thought that I could trust my own understanding of friendship, love and life. but whenever it came to you, there seemed to be no definite answer to anything anymore. When it came to you, it'd hurt too much for me to think about it. &i didn't, for a as long as I could put it off.

With a clock ticking away the seconds we could be together, the last weeks were to be spent indulging in long phone calls and frequent outings.it was as if we were savouring every bit of time we had left before the inevitable goodbye.

Every word that came from his mouth felt like doses of nostalgia injected and forcefully pumped into my veins that pierced my very heart. Like a drug that could only make my condition worse, he had become the addiction i kept falling back into.

It was then that i realised how much I needed him, how big of a role he played in my short nineteen years of life, intensified during these short two weeks. and that terrified me.

The very thought, no, the very knowledge that I, that person who’s built an emotional armour since the last shattering experience, had been so flawlessly dismantled, that by the time i had realised the potential threat, I had neither the control and power, nor the will in me to reactivate the mental defense that would drive him away from the solace within my thoughts, my only sanctuary.

`because does it surprise you when i'm at a loss with you?

Because i've been so unsure of so many things, that to think i've been wrong all along, makes me question, what if i'm wrong again this time? &you don't make it easier. you give into me, and you let me breakdown in your arms, you tell me how i'll be fine. but you see, i don't know how to. I want to be sure.

I love you.

So This is love..

One love
That has possessed me..

&till now, that's still the best description to how i feel


` &i keep coming back to find that it's still not overrated.