the day has finally come. that infamous bridge that i have heard rumours about is right infront of me. actually its already under me. i stepped on t officially today and i wonder if its stable enough to hold my weight? i hope i dont fall seriously. i think that today was not my first step really. ive been taking little or big steps towards this bridge from day one. i must have ignored all the warning signs until suddenly im on it. it is too late to turn back. i either jump off myself and commit suicide or try to get to the other side slowly hoping that it wont give way.
i would like to apologise for my nonsense ramblings. it is around 2.30am here and i have to get up early and start my first day of briefings and shit. im so lost, i dont know what to do. i dont believe my long break is over. my days of staying home or going out or anything is over. i have to actually use my brains again. yikes!
i dont know how i feel. actually i just found the word. i feel very numbed through this whole experience. i dont really feel much emotion now. just a lot of confusion and uncertainty. i have cried so much on so many occassions weeks before maybe even months in anticipation for this and now i feel nothing. not one tear wants to roll down my cheek when just a few nights ago i was like a waterfall. haha. i think this must be a good thing. so i can fully do what im supposed to here :)
wish me luck people. my fingers are already freezing and im indoors and i cant sleep and I AM SCARED. i hope i wont be a dumb loser. if my uni life turns out to be half as good as my school and college life, i would a real happy little girl.
just close your eyes and believe?
the question mark is there because i dont have the guts to even commit to that sentence fully yet alone act on it.
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